FALLING IN LOVE IS FOR PRIVILEGE.

 (disclaimer: this is my own personal opinion and experience, thus, you're welcomed to disagree)

Assalamualaikum and hi everyone!

Tbh, I don't have the feelings to write today, but I think this will help for me to ease those 'uneasy' feelings. Let's get straight to the point.

Falling in love is really hard. I think, falling in love is only for privileges, who have a lot of time, energy, and money with them. The context for this is not for someone who has crush on another, but it is all about falling in love and being in a relationship. And I think, it's not for me. It's easy to fall in love, but to be in a relationship, it's hard. For me. I ain't ready for that. I am not stable enough, it's hard for me to even love myself, how can I love someone else. I'm still adjusting and adapting with my new chapter of life, how can I enter another chapter that needs a big commitment? I do believe it's really my fault, when I started something that I can't finish it. I admit them. Damage done, lesson learnt (write with guilt)

Falling in love requires cost, time, energy, and emotional attachment, which I don't have any of it. That's how I start to believe that falling in love is for privilege. Sometimes I pelik, macam mana orang lain happy je in a relationship, sampai kahwin, but when it comes to me, it filled with anxious, worries. Maybe, semua tu just overthinking, tapi entahlah. That's why, benda ni senang untuk orang lain, susah untuk aku. 

But at the same time, aku terfikir jugak, if falling in love requires those things, and the other party willingly nak spend those with you, tak ke tu another privilege, yang sepatutnya kau syukuri? When there's someone who could love you unconditionally, and accept you apa adanya. When there's someone who could spend his time, cost, and energy for you?

My logical thinking starts to accept that, but my heart isn't.

DO TIMES HEAL US OR DO WE HEALING WITH TIME?

 Assalamualaikum and hi guys! I am back after 40 days join kursus Halal Executive dekat PD sana. There's so muchhh exciting story but will tell you guys later sebab terlalu panjang (almaklonglah, 30 hari kan) but we have limited times tonight omg busy days are coming!! (kinda excited but nervous ><)

Alright, back to our highlighted topic of the day, do times heal us or do we healing with time? Selalu dengar, "time heals", tapi, apa je yang masa boleh buat untuk 'merawat' kita? I don't think that times heal us, but I do believe that we need times to heal, so yeah, we are healing with times. Simple explanation gini la, if kita rasa masa tu merawat kita, we will be healed after spending so much times kan? But, macam mana pulak dengan those dah spend masa bertahun-tahun, but still cannot manage the pain, then, macam mana pulak? And ada jugak yang perlukan masa sekejap je, a day, a week, to heal.

Which means, sebenarnya bukan masa yang menyembuhkan luka tu, tapi the person himself/herself. It needs effort kut nak heal from something, and if someone tu takde effort pun nak forget the past and start fresh, bagi dia beribu tahun pun, he or she will never get to manage the pain. Tapi, if he or she gives chance to himself/herself, then he/she will get to overcome the past smoothly and easily.

Stop depending on times. Start giving yourself chances.